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The Paladins are beginning a mission to wartorn Ukraine on 16 March 2022, with the following objectives:​

  1. Reconaissance of war damage, war deaths, destruction of the civilian infrastructure, and disruption of logistics supplies for essential civilian supplies such as essential medicines, foodstuffs, and materials for the sustenance of refugees and internally displaced persons.

  2. Distribution of emergency supplies to those in need.

  3. Negotiations to remove the principal catalysts of the continuing conflict.

  4. Initiating of a constructive basis for a peace agreement.

The Paladins YouTube channel will document our humanitarian and fact finding mission to Ukraine, immediately to commence. 


You may be guaranteed neutral reportage. We accept only ethical mandates. We exist to serve.


We at The Paladins expect the immediate and permanent self-removal of all persons in Ukraine who present a problem to the peace process in the impending Russian-Ukrainian war, in particular those highly wealthy individuals ("the Oligarchs") who profited from gangster seizure of Ukraine's national assets in the 1990's while Ukraine's broader population starved. We intend to speak with those individuals and other problematic politicians who stand in the way of peace, and once they have volunteered to and have departed from the country; or otherwise have been eliminated from the Ukrainian political process so as permanently to cease to be a hindrance to the pursuit of peace, we will congratulate them by publishing their names on this website.


Victor Pinchuk. Ukrainian oligarch. Worth unknown billions. Made his money stealing the steel pipe business from Ukraine's government in Crimea in the 1990's. Used his wealth to finance the Maidan Revolution in 2014, with the consequence that the Kremlin punished him by annexing Crimea.

We are grateful for Mr Pinchuk's promise to remain living in Los Angeles for the indefinite future, and not again to leave the United States and in particular not to travel ever again to Ukraine. We will be happy to assist him with the US paperwork to ensure his indefinite continued presence in the United States.

In consequence, we at The Paladins are expectant that a final piece for Ukraine will entail Russian movement on the status of Crimea, in a solution that affords dignity and respect to the citizens of Crimea and all those with an interest in the peninsula.

Rinat Akhmetov. Another Ukrainian oligarch worth billions, who owns(ed) the steel facilities around Donetsk and relies upon the port city of Mariupol to expert his commodities and is now funding the Mariupol Azov Brigade (Ukrainian nationalist soldiers with high-tech equipment who are not from Mariupol but are present just to perpetuate slaughter). Hence he is properly known as "The Butcher of Mariupol". He was funding the Maidan Revolution as well as opposition movements in Russia including Alexey Navalny, so the Russians (a) in 2014, undermined his control of the Donetsk Oblast through creating the Donetsk People's Republic; and (b), in 2022, deported the population of Donetsk and replaced them with tanks. This was an episode of "oligarch punishment" to avenge his disloyalty to Moscow that originally permitted him to get rich through state theft of Ukrainian assets. His second-in-command asserts that he has fled Ukraine. However this information is not corroborated. Moreover we at The Paladins have no assurances that he will never enter Ukraine again.


Rinat Akhmetov, the Butcher of Mariupol

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Igor Kolomoisky. Details to follow, together with confirmed details of current residential address (not in Ukraine).

Volodimir Zelenskiy. Details to follow, together with details of suspected location (not in Ukraine)

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The Klitschko Brothers. Details to follow, together with details of suspected location (not in Ukraine).

Chechens to deal

Letter from The Paladins to the President of the Russian Federation

Here is a short and courteous letter from The Paladins to the President of the Russian Federation, dated 11 March 2022, explaining our position on the promotion of neutral humanitarian corridors across the country so as to assist in the alleviation of civilian suffering.

The letter is written in German, a language its author and the President of the Russian Federation have in common.

Letter from the Paladins to the Prime Minister of Israel

Here is a short and courteous letter from The Paladins to the Prime Minister of Israel, in Hebrew, inviting the Prime Minister to apply pressure upon the Israeli-Ukrainian-Cypriot citizen and resident of a luxury north Tel Aviv suburb, Igor Kolomoisky, to do everything he can to bring the war in Ukraine, that was his responsibility (he took the principal steps that initiated it), to bring the war to an immediate conclusion. We explain in the letter what Mr Kolomoisky can do to end the war straight away. If he does not do these things, then we respectfully suggest that the Israelis send him back to Ukraine to die, along with all those other innocent Ukrainians that his actions have condemned to death.


The Paladins

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