Ukraine is still independent and free.
We’ve had enough of your fascism and your Putin and your fascism and your Putin and your fascism and your Putin and your fascism and your Putin. We’ve had enough of all of that. Today Europe supported Ukraine and America supported Ukraine and the world supported Ukraine and we all support Ukraine. We’ve had enough of you. As you drink your boot polish in your trenches and you salute your Russian flag and you do this thing and that thing and this thing and that thing and you think you are supporting your stupid cause of Russian imperialism, I want you to know that the world says no. Russian fascism and neo-totalitarianism and all this stupid stuff that you plough through your social networks and your social media and your St Petersburg troll mills and all of this other crazy stuff you do: it isn’t working and it never worked and it’s not going to work and it’s never going to work.
Because today the Free World stood up to you and the Free World said with great unanimity and with force and power and with the compassion of Winston Churchill who united the Free World and the Old and we all said together that we won’t put up with your crypto-fascism, Mr Putin. We are sick of it all and we formed a common stand together and we said no to Russian imperialism and we said no to Russian fascism and we said no.
We are now out to get you and we are unified and we are out to win this war and Ukraine will be in the European Union and Ukraine will be in NATO and NATO troops will be on the banks of the River Dnieper and then you will realise that you are all done. And then your shells and your missiles will stop. You won’t dare shell American troops or we will invade Russia and then you will join NATO but not in the nice way. You will join NATO because we will invade Moscow and then you will figure it all out.
I’m normally a cautious and moderate type but today, with unanimous and concerted action in both Europe and the United States, I came to understand that the Free World, the West, will put all its ideological differences aside and we will combine all our forces and might and forces and might to destroy Russian imperial ambitions. And the Free World will come to the aid the Old, just as it did in the two World Wars of the twentieth century and just as it will now, destroy a new neo-totalitarian threat to western values of liberty, democracy and rule of law, to lay waste to Russian imperial ambitions and to do whatever it takes to extinguish and eliminate and erode and destroy this crude Russian imperialism that considers international law and international treaties and borders and common respect between nations to be of no value. Russia will either learn to respect contemporary European concepts of international law and democratic polity or she will be chopped and hacked and chopped and hacked into a series of individual nation states that uneasily comprise contemporary Russia and we will not put up with any of this Russian imperial aggression anymore.
Russia can learn this the easy way or the hard way, but I suspect it will be the hard way. The United States of America spends more on military financing than the rest of the world put together - much more. The Peoples Republic of China will not come to your assistance; they do not want war and conflict but only increasing commercial and economic dominance within the South China Sea region and we can negotiate and agree things with them but we know that we cannot negotiate things with you, dear Russia, because you are run by a maniac. And the reason you are run by a maniac is because you let yourselves be so. It is because you are weak and you do not stand up to the tyranny in your culture and your country and you are a disappointment to Europe because you do not embrace the democratic ideals that the rest of Europe has embraced and we are all disappointed in you.
I appeal to you, individual Russian citizens: when are you going to escape from the intellectual and cultural bondage of this Soviet and imperial nonsense? Do you have the guts or the freedom or the independence of mind to do so? Your disgraceful President, an indicted war criminal, may cultivate cordial relations with North Korea and Syria and China and Sudan and the Central African Republic and Niger and Mali and all these very nice places. He is a very nice man and he cultivates diplomatic relations with very nice places. But the civilised world considers him revolting and repellant and revolting and repellant. And let’s face it, so do you. The Free World does not hate you. We do not hate Russians. We welcome Russians who oppose this totalitarian obloquy that degrades and destroys European democratic polity. And we are determined to defeat it. And the decisions that were made today in Brussels and Washington demonstrate the Free World’s common commitment to defeat you. And we will succeed, just as we did before. Mr Putin, you are no Josef Stalin. You are but a shallow shadow of him, without nearly the same grip on Russia as your predecessor and without the alliance with the Allies. We are now determined to undermine you and destroy you, and we shall succeed.
I want you to make no mistake: the Free World, with all its force, with all its tanks and its planes and its missiles and its weapons and its finances and its technology and its principles and its values and everything else we have to bear: we will bring to bear upon Russia the full might of the Free World and we will destroy you and decimate you and we will bring Russia to her knees and then we will chop her up and we will turn the Russian provinces into democracies and we will destroy this hellish Russian Empire that has cursed Europe and Asia over decades and centuries. You have overstretched yourselves over decades and centuries and now is the end of the road. And you will learn new ways, the European way, or there will be nothing left of you.
Slava Ukraini. And my best wishes to and hopes for Russia, under new leadership and in due course with a whole new way of thinking. We in the Free World do not wish Russian people ill. We just respectfully request, insist and demand, using force if necessary, that Russia reforms herself into democratic traditions consistent with the principles of the rule of law, for the benefit not just of the Russian people but in the interests of the stability of the world as a whole. Moreover - and this is your most fundamental Achilles Heel - China supports us in this goal as well.